Everyone got sick.

I write this note through bloodshot eyes. My skin jaundiced with exhaustion, my hair (more) disheveled, my clothes (more) crumpled. Friends, I have passed through fire and I fear it’s the first of many. A pandemic has swept through my house like the ride of the apocalypse and now…I fear its inevitable return. What happened? […]

Wait…I have to clean what up?

I haven’t thrown up in a while. More than 10 years. My last time was not illness related – for better or worse my stomach is pretty iron clad. But there was a period of time, however, that I seemed to occasionally find myself in bars with spoiled ice cubes and poisonous shot glasses. And […]

Haiku Thursday

“Hippos go Berserk” has a less bloody ending than I expected.

Haiku Thursday

The sweet potato Changes not texture nor hue Passed through a baby.

“I want my mommy”

Future Dads– get comfortable having your parenting skills scoffed at. It might come from your parents, or your in-laws, or the neighbors, or your lady, or random people you see at the grocery store. Anyone, maybe everyone, is going to think you can’t hack it. You’ll be considered a babysitter not a parent. People will […]

Love thy nanny

Oh yeah – I write this parenting blog every week and we are rocking a nanny. You should get one too. They do the heavy lifting. I know a family that has TWO. They are just like people before kids, with all their free time and their sleep. I hate them. I assume this is common […]

Haiku Thursday

I console myself How it bodes well for yard work This raking the face

Thank god it’s Frida

When you’re first getting used to the constant, neurotic checking to see if your kid is still breathing, you learn to get comfortable with the extremely loud, frequent noises they make. They snuffle, sniff and snore more than drunk Santa. You’ll start to be able to read the noises. You’ll know if a cry is coming, because it […]

Oh yeah, we got a minivan.

We studied up on the cliche, and we said, yep, that seems fine. We had the 2 kids, fled the city, squared up in a little house in the suburbs. We do not have a white picket fence, but our neighbor two houses down sure does. So, the minivan. Our pre-baby friends, those that have hung in […]

Haiku Thursday

Little tiger cub Why must you sharpen your claws Always on your face?