Haiku Thursday

My new sweet baby In his jungle of blankets Grunts like a boar.

Dad gang

Is it weird that I can’t make myself ask another dad to have a play date? I don’t. I won’t. I don’t know why. I see them, the other dads. We talk at the park a bit sometimes. I’m very involved with my kids, and it seems like they are too. Most are working, some are […]

The Santa Paradox

Or, How Are You Going to Disinfect The Local Drunk? Follow this: A new toy enters your house. Perhaps you bought it. Perhaps a family member. Your kiddo wants to play with this damned thing immediately, but alas that is not the first fate for this toy. No way, no how. First, this toy must […]

Haiku Thursday

We walk in the Bjorn As women leer boldly, aroused. A terrible waste.

Christmas – what comes to mind.

My kids aren’t old enough for the whole Santa thing yet. My brother has two in and one out of the whole lie- so I’ve got to be pretty careful over there. If I blow it for them they’ll just be waiting to blow it for my kids. Anyway – because the kids are so […]

Nocturnal Omissions – The Jewel Thief

Last night, I came up with this ingenious plan to make and sell fake… rubys. YES RUBY’S!  Who the hell even thinks about rubys?  I bet the ruby industry had one period of time where they saw demand for their product skyrocket. I’m guessing it was the 3-6 month period following Aug 25th, 1939.  Specifically, that was the release date for the Wizard […]

The day the poop bag broke.

Do you know what a diaper pail is? If you’re here, you probably have a kid or one on the way – so you’ve probably at least considered buying one. Just in case – it is a type of garbage pail that is hermetically sealed, or at least that’s what they aim for. You keep […]

Haiku Thursday

Constantly pooping My son proves himself worthy The heir to the throne  

The 7 most Akward Moments of New Fatherhood

You are new to this, and you are doing pretty good job buddy! Your only real mission here is to do everything you can to keep this little person alive until they can self sustain (note, I am 37 and am almost self sustaining). Bumps along the way are inevitable (It’s crying: Is it hungry […]