awww, don’t pee mad

Posted on Posted in Pee

This was a new one for me. The mad pee. The crafty mad pee.

We just had a second kid not so long ago, which I’m embarrassed to say I’ve handled with my typical maturity.

You know who didn’t? The other kid in the house, if you can believe it.

She found her inner Mr. Hyde and brought him out.She has found her pitch – both vocally and physically – and she’s swinging. A little hitting, some light shoving. A LOT of drama.

She’s learned to say “no” at such high speed and volume it’s like a constant buzz of rejection*. No matter how reasonable. Whether I say “let’s brush your teeth,” or “hi” or if I just look a little left…no, no, NO.

Combined with the sleep deprivation from her brother, it’s like playing blindfolded dodge ball in Amsterdam. I have no idea where it’ll hurt next.

But all of this I kind of expected. People told me. They warned me. It also just kind of makes sense. Our daughter is acting out in a typical medley of slightly violent protest.

What I didn’t expect, however, was pee as a weapon. Of quietly and strategically taking an opportunity to pee on the floor.

She is subtle. She does not flaunt it. She doesn’t just go running off when you pop off the diaper. She looks you dead in the eye and doesn’t blink.

She’s gotten me three times. The 2nd was right after a bath.

Standing there wrapped in a towel. Distracting me with chit chat. She didn’t squat, she didn’t giggle. She did not break conversation to concentrate. She actually HID the STREAM with that towel.

She is a stone cold angry pee monster. So watch out.

I have to say, I like her style.

*Not my first.



I'm a middle aged computer drone, pasty and soft from desk work. Rode the subway for 15 years and now livin' the suburban dream. Tomorrow is recycling day.

I drive a minivan and ride a motorcycle.

Enjoying the piss out of parenting - 2 kids, a girl born in 2013 and a boy in 2015.

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