Future Dads– get comfortable having your parenting skills scoffed at. It might come from your parents, or your in-laws, or the neighbors, or your lady, or random people you see at the grocery store.
Anyone, maybe everyone, is going to think you can’t hack it. You’ll be considered a babysitter not a parent. People will smile condescendingly and ask you if things are under control and when mom is getting back.
But who cares? You know what you’re doing, or you don’t, and you’ll behave accordingly.
The only time it might sting, really, is when it comes from the kids themselves. 10 times a day my kid says “I want to go see mommy.” 20 times, 100, 500. Enough already! Jeesh.
So what’s up?
It seems, at this age, my kid likes my wife a lot more than me. Almost all the time. Definitely in distress.
When we’re alone, things go pretty well…but when we’re together, I’m invisible. Or worse, I’m the enemy. If I try to help things get wild, fast –
“No! NOT you. NOT YOU!”
And here’s a PUNCH IN YOUR FACE
And a KICK in your knee!
Lots to do, trying to move things along towards bedtime, and I’m wrestling an angry raccoon into a set of pajamas (“NOT THOSE PAJAMAS!!!!”)
I wouldn’t say it hurts my feelings.
But it’s frustrating at times. It sucks mainly because you feel like you can’t help as much as you should. With just a side dish of sad that you’re not the most popular parent in town.
But – if it happens to you, don’t let it get you down. Here’s five times is rocks to be the parent-non-grata. You hear that “I want momma” and you give a sheepish smile and you pass that baby off and you do a dance. (In your head though, because all this behavior is even less popular with your lady).
- Middle of the night. Obviously. Who wants to go lie in that toddler bed, all scrunched up, just to get a tiny knee in your stomach? Not this guy.
- Diaper changes. Also obvious. These were a stupid point of pride for me in the beginning, because growing up in my family the men didn’t change diapers. I’m different, I thought! And I am. But poop is poop, man. If you don’t have to wipe someone else’s ass, don’t.
- Meal times. This is just for the lousy eaters I guess, but I try to out stubborn my kid into eating, and that is a tough road.
- Parties! Your kid might get uncomfortable with a bunch of new people around. Clinging to your partner allows you to settle in and enjoy. Have a couple of beers. You will pay for this later though.
- Eating out. You have to do this, get back out in the world after the kid is born. But I don’t think it’s fun again for a while, if ever. But if you’re kid starts screaming about sitting close to mom, you go with that. Order something hot so you have an extra card when it comes time to decide who eats first.
All of this is not to say that we immediately give in when she asks for mommy. We try not to. But sometimes you don’t have enough fight. Sometimes when you know that kid’s good mood is about to go sideways, you bend in the wind to survive the storm.
I drive a minivan and ride a motorcycle.
Enjoying the piss out of parenting - 2 kids, a girl born in 2013 and a boy in 2015.