I write this note through bloodshot eyes. My skin jaundiced with exhaustion, my hair (more) disheveled, my clothes (more) crumpled. Friends, I have passed through fire and I fear it’s the first of many. A pandemic has swept through my house like the ride of the apocalypse and now…I fear its inevitable return. What happened? […]
I haven’t thrown up in a while. More than 10 years. My last time was not illness related – for better or worse my stomach is pretty iron clad. But there was a period of time, however, that I seemed to occasionally find myself in bars with spoiled ice cubes and poisonous shot glasses. And […]
Future Dads– get comfortable having your parenting skills scoffed at. It might come from your parents, or your in-laws, or the neighbors, or your lady, or random people you see at the grocery store. Anyone, maybe everyone, is going to think you can’t hack it. You’ll be considered a babysitter not a parent. People will […]
When you’re first getting used to the constant, neurotic checking to see if your kid is still breathing, you learn to get comfortable with the extremely loud, frequent noises they make. They snuffle, sniff and snore more than drunk Santa. You’ll start to be able to read the noises. You’ll know if a cry is coming, because it […]
We studied up on the cliche, and we said, yep, that seems fine. We had the 2 kids, fled the city, squared up in a little house in the suburbs. We do not have a white picket fence, but our neighbor two houses down sure does. So, the minivan. Our pre-baby friends, those that have hung in […]
I generally do not mind having nothing to do. I love it. I’ve got a book, I’ve got a little TV to catch up on, I’m always down for a snack. I’m also pretty good at getting something done when I want to get it done. I like to solve problems and learn new things. But I have […]
I talk, I think, quite a bit about the lack of sleep that comes with a newborn. Turns out it’s pretty variable. I thought the first time was rough. That was easy. This second kid is to sleep like Dr. Claw was to Inspector Gadget. Anyway – with a newborn, you spend a lot of time awake in the middle […]
A genius trick from a friend and brand new dad Adam – thanks for the heads up on this. Everybody knows those first couple of months with a new kid can dent up your beauty rest. If you don’t have a kid of your own, here’s the quick and dirty: newborns need to eat every […]
She is a stone cold angry pee monster. Watch out.
Log that poop. It sucks, but it’s important.