Everyone got sick.

I write this note through bloodshot eyes. My skin jaundiced with exhaustion, my hair (more) disheveled, my clothes (more) crumpled. Friends, I have passed through fire and I fear it’s the first of many. A pandemic has swept through my house like the ride of the apocalypse and now…I fear its inevitable return. What happened? […]

“I want my mommy”

Future Dads– get comfortable having your parenting skills scoffed at. It might come from your parents, or your in-laws, or the neighbors, or your lady, or random people you see at the grocery store. Anyone, maybe everyone, is going to think you can’t hack it. You’ll be considered a babysitter not a parent. People will […]

Thank god it’s Frida

When you’re first getting used to the constant, neurotic checking to see if your kid is still breathing, you learn to get comfortable with the extremely loud, frequent noises they make. They snuffle, sniff and snore more than drunk Santa. You’ll start to be able to read the noises. You’ll know if a cry is coming, because it […]

Oh yeah, we got a minivan.

We studied up on the cliche, and we said, yep, that seems fine. We had the 2 kids, fled the city, squared up in a little house in the suburbs. We do not have a white picket fence, but our neighbor two houses down sure does. So, the minivan. Our pre-baby friends, those that have hung in […]

Pictures are (one of my) problem(s).

Plain and simple, it’s too easy to take and store pictures. I became a dad 2 years ago. I have since taken almost 10,000 pictures. No shit. 10,000. Is there a slowdown for the second kid? Sure. We’ll have less of him. But still, something’s wrong. Clearly I’m neurotic and I take too many pictures. […]

Daycare: The Pick Up Hexagon

Like a lot of folks out there, my family is a working family. Meaning that both the mom and dad work, yet remain somehow still in the hole financially. Because of the hourly demands of the work day, and the fact that my kid can’t open a can of tuna on her own (working on […]

Resolutions Under Consideration

A few parenting related resolutions I’ve been considering. To be honest, there are a million things I could be doing better as a parent. But that would be too long a list. Here’s 10 ideas. Stop gossiping about other people in front of the kid. Eventually she’s going to blow up my spot. Stop using adult […]

The Santa Paradox

Or, How Are You Going to Disinfect The Local Drunk? Follow this: A new toy enters your house. Perhaps you bought it. Perhaps a family member. Your kiddo wants to play with this damned thing immediately, but alas that is not the first fate for this toy. No way, no how. First, this toy must […]

Nocturnal Omissions – An Intro

When it’s three in the morning, and it’s just you and a sleeping/crying/wailing/drooling baby, a lot of odd thoughts will go through your head. Well, maybe not YOUR head, but definitely my head. I call them nocturnal omissions. Nocturnal omissions occur in the wee hours and make concrete sense at the time, but ultimately are […]